Quiet

This life is a scary place,

sometimes I don’t know if I’m awake.

I stare at the grainy white ceiling

wondering my fate, if I close my eyes,

will the darkness take me away?

Cold damp hands pull at my shoulders,

as a puff of wind caress my face,

making my heart race a beat faster.

I lie here whispering to the unknown,

wondering if anyone is listening or if I’m alone

pleading my sanity to the air around me.

I wonder if the voices in my head are real

or just fragments of someone’s spirit,

haunting me through the night.

I reach for my phone

but it disappears from my grasp,

as the cold nimble hands pull me back into

the linen neatly made on the bed.

I fall into an infinity of blackness that

surrounds me like quicksand,

making it hard to breath,

as it enters every piece of me.

I start to panic and breath in all the air around me,

the voices get louder, the darkness subsides,

blinding me from seeing any further.

My bed pulls me into a different land,

I can see light from

where my sheets were tucked in.

I glance around,

my eyes going wild,

but black covers every inch

and the voices keep getting louder.

I try to reach for the light,

but my ears start to bleed

from the sound consuming me.

The hands resting on my shoulders,

turn into claws digging into my flesh,

trying to reach my most vulnerable parts,

but they don’t have to go far.

I think back to how horrible my life must be,

to be sent to this place of uncertainty.

However, as I stop and think of the family that loves me

and the scholarship ahead of me,

I wonder why I feel like I’m drowning?

Maybe the darkness can reach

you even when you’re happy

and your life is as perfect as can be.

Sometimes the voices are too loud

to allow me to be joyful, with no uncertainty,

they say things that make sense only to me,

that make me want to scream.

I look up at the light that keeps getting smaller

and darkness wraps around me like a blanket,

that feels almost like comfort.

Except for the voices ponding against my skull

and bouncing off the walls,

making my head feel like a balloon filled

with too much oxygen.

All I see is black

and can only hear the voices,

mixed in with my screams,

pleading them to be quiet,

but they’ll never leave me alone.

This life is a scary place,

sometimes I don’t know if I’m awake,

perhaps I never will be.